I know a lot of people who are unhappy in their job. What makes me sad is that most of those people will remain unhappily in their job. Living for the weekend, for their holidays, for their long service leave.
They may go on parental leave and assume that everything will be different after that. But often it isn’t. You return to the same job that you always disliked, leaving your child with someone else, only you have another job at home now.
Some might quit their job after having children, so they can focus on being a parent. Kids grow older though and often those mums want to return to work at some point, only they don’t want to go back to the old career.
Sorry to paint a bleak picture but I know this is the reality for many mums. Trapped in a job they dislike, or trapped in being a stay-at-home mum, because they don’t want to go back to their old career.
Of course, I should be telling you that there is another way … I’m a career change coach after all.
But the sad reality is that most people who say they are going to change career won’t do it.
It’s a source of massive frustration to me.
Over time I’ve seen there are many reasons but most of them can be distilled down under the three headings below.
Mistake #1 – not making the time for career change
This is a big one. Career change is a massive undertaking and if you’re going to be successful you need to make time for it and treat that time as sacred. Career change cannot just fit around the edges of your life when you have time. If this is your approach, then you’ll end up googling career change ideas for 15 minutes at the end of a very busy day with the TV on in the background. That’s not going to get you anywhere.
What you should do instead
Schedule time in your calendar and stick to it. If it’s the same time every day or every week then even better. I am writing this blog post at 6am. I don’t like being up that early but I know that if I don’t do it, the blog post won’t get written. You may have to negotiate with your partner to get this time or give up something else. For the past 6 years, while I’ve been changing career, I only watch TV on a Friday and Saturday night. I know you need an escape and release from your busy day but if you just gave up two nights of TV watching, think of the time it would free up.
Mistake #2 – thinking your way out of a career
I wrote about this recently but I will say it again because it is crucial. You cannot think your way out of a career. You are not going to suddenly get hit by a lightning bolt of inspiration. Clarity comes from doing and so does confidence. This is linked to mistake number one because if you are not giving yourself proper, scheduled time to work on your career change you will end up thinking about it when you are in the shower or hanging washing. And that doesn’t count.
What you should do instead
Get out of your head. Download my 12-week career change plan and start doing the suggested exercises. If there is someone you’ve been following on Instagram, who is in a career or venture that you like the look of, then reach out to them and ask them about their career or even better arrange a zoom chat to speak with them. Read a book, sign up for a short course, volunteer. Just start doing because, as you will have told your kids, it’s how you learn.
Mistake #3 – making assumptions
I see this one all the time. You may come up with a career idea but you quickly brush it away because you assume you will have to start at the bottom, take a massive pay cut or go back to university to see it through. If you do this with every career idea you have you will quickly become disillusioned with your career change and give up on it. You may also be giving up on perfectly valid ideas because you haven’t worked through your assumptions. You may have already dismissed your dream career because you’ve made a mistaken assumption that it’s out of your reach.
What you should do instead
When you come up with a career change idea or a venture sparks your curiosity then run with it. Find out a few things about that career and seriously imagine yourself in it. Don’t stress about how you’re going to make it happen at this stage. If it’s a serious contender career then you should talk to other people in that career or industry.
Six years ago I seriously thought I wanted to be a clinical psychologist. I was interested in mental health and wellbeing and helping people. I quickly found out it required six years of study but I decided to put that to one side and find out more about being a psychologist so I spoke to people who were doing that work. They put me onto more people and they gave me other ideas. In the end I realised that although I wanted to help others, some aspects of psychology weren’t right for me but I hit upon coaching as a career. So I found out more about that, and the rest is history.
If I had dismissed the psychology idea straight away, then I may not have gotten round to hearing about coaching. And then I wouldn’t be here now.
What if you’re interested in a career and your assumptions are true? Well, if you want it enough then you may find a way to make it work. Perhaps you’ll study part-time so you can fit it around work and parenting. Perhaps you’ll cut back on your expenses and save some money so that you can afford a pay cut. I’ve had clients do both of these things. Or maybe you’ll find something closely related to that career that does work for you.
Career change is not impossible but like a lot of things that are worthwhile in life it requires time and work.
Get started with my 12 week career change plan or book in with me for a Working Mum SOS if you need support in making your career change happen and avoiding these mistakes.