How do I make a decision?

A lot of mums come to me because they know they’re unhappy with their current situation but they can’t figure out what to do next. They have no idea what they want to do career wise, have filled out personality quiz after personality quiz and are still none the wiser.

Then there is the other mum. The one who likes to sample everything on the menu. She has so many ideas about what she’d like to do and chops and changes her mind frequently. Her family and close friends make fun of her inability to commit. They tell her she needs to make a decision but she just can’t. Perhaps she’s scared of making the wrong choice. Or perhaps she doesn’t want to choose because she wants to do more than one thing. There’s a term for the latter. It’s called multi-passionate. It’s not such a bad thing and the older I get the more I identify with it. At the moment, I run my life coaching business, I’m studying for a Career Development Diploma and I’ve just started working in sales for a solar air heating supplier. I also volunteer at my son’s school. I have my fingers in a lot of pies and I like it that way.

But I do understand, as a career changing mum with limited funds and time, this can be a tricky situation to navigate. Here’s my advice to you if you’re multi-passionate and struggling to narrow down your career choices.

First of all, stop worrying

You’re not a freak. It’s perfectly normal, and even desirable, to be interested in many things and to want to give them all a try. I read a statistic recently that today’s average graduate will change career four times (that’s career, not job) and so the days of doing one thing and climbing up that corporate ladder are long gone.

Don’t make a choice

I know this sounds like a cop out but rather than committing to a choice, commit to exploring your options. Go out and meet people who are working in careers that interest you. Ask them about a typical day, how they got started, what’s enjoyable and what’s not so enjoyable. You’ll be amazed at the clarity that these conversations can give you.

Work out your priorities

Home in on what is most important to you. What are the special talents and interests you want to feature most in your career? What kind of environment do you want to work in? What kind of environment will you absolutely not work in? What does success look like for you? How important is money and flexibility to you right now and in the longer term? This will help you make sense of all your different options and focus on the ones that will, in the words of Marie Kondo, bring you the most joy. Then you can start making a plan for going after those career goals that are most important.

Reconsider your timeframes

You might not be able to do everything that you want to do right now. But you may be able to do it over the course of your life. Of course, none of us knows how long we have on the planet but it is fair to say that many of us think and act too much in the short-term. We could all benefit from thinking more longer term about our career goals, especially if we want to do many things. So, you might want to be a tarot card reader, social media expert, writer and swimming coach. Well maybe you could spend the next 5 years focusing on the tarot card reading and social media, you could then build up your following enough so that you have people who are willing to buy your books after that. In ten years, when you are a highly acclaimed author you could perhaps do the swimming coaching on the side. What’s important is to keep your long-term goals in mind when you are making plans and allocating your short-term resources (money and time). You don’t want to find that you never quite get to the longer-term plans. So, its important that you check in with yourself and how you’re going against your plan regularly. I suggest you do this quarterly at least.

Think in terms of And not Or

When you have a longer-term plan in place to do the things that you want, this frees you up from making either/or choices. It means you can keep on with your day job and have a more fulfilling side gig in the evening. In two-years’ time you may build up the side gig enough to be a full-time job. Perhaps then something else will become a side gig. The opportunities are endless, but I would advise you to make your shifts gradual. Don’t change everything all at once.

What’s the worst that can happen?

If deep-down you really are scared of making a decision and you think this is the reason behind your multiple career interests then you really need to take a step back and ask yourself what’s the worst that can happen? Or even write it down. Write down all the terrible things that could happen if you get this wrong and then ask yourself is this really that awful and then think about how you can manage it? Most things that we spend time worrying about don’t actually happen (and this is coming from a lifelong worrier) anyway and, even if they do they are usually never as bad as we imagine them to be. But what’s the alternative? A lot of the time the worst decision is doing nothing at all.
At the end of the day you can only spend so long deliberating before you drive yourself crazy. At some point you need to decide, even if the decision is to try a few things, and be happy with your choice.  You can do this.

I hope I’ve left you with some food for thought. If you’re struggling to make a decision in your career you can contact me for a free working mum SOS chat. 30 minutes – the time it takes to watch a really bad reality TV show – is all it takes to get you unstuck. Click here to schedule in a time.

 

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