There’s a lot of career change advice out there about saying yes to opportunities.
Say yes and work it out later.
Say yes to the thing that makes you feel uncomfortable.
But what about saying no?
Lately “today Denny” been feeling really annoyed with “yesterday Denny”.
I’m sure you’ll be familiar with this.
It’s when you get really annoyed with yourself for saying yes to things in the past. For thinking that it would all be alright. That signing up for a networking event two weeks before Christmas would be fine. That taking on that significant project three weeks before Christmas would be manageable.
Sometimes we say yes to things, or decide to take on projects, without fully accepting the reality of life. If I’m overwhelmed with too much to do right now, then why will it be any different in a month’s time? Especially when that month coincides with Christmas and the end of the school year.
I’d like to say there’s no significant harm done but saying yes to so many things has taken me away from something that’s vitally important in my life right now. My book. I haven’t spent much time writing at all.
It’s also caused me a lot of internal angst and I have been quite (understatement) snappy. I should also add that I don’t even have my Christmas tree up.
But what does this have to do with career change?
The entrepreneur Derek Sivers once wrote a blog post where he said, “If I’m not sayin ‘Hell Yeah!’ to something, then I say no.”
I love this.
Because when you say no to most things, you leave room in your life to see and experience the things that are important.
Most of the women I work with are so incredibly busy. They volunteer for the school. They do favours for their friends and families. They take on that extra project in the job they don’t even like. And then when I ask them how they got on with their “career change homework” they shift uncomfortably and tell me how busy they’ve been.
I know there can be other factors at play, but I also know, and so does Derek Sivers, that when you say no to the things that don’t have you thinking ‘hell yeah’ you leave a whole lot of room for ‘hell yeahs’ to happen.
And your career change deserves a hell yeah.
So as you start making commitments for the new year, question whether it’s a hell yeah. Or are you simply saying yes because it’s two months from now and you’ll be way less busy then. You won’t be. As mums life is always going to be busy. Other people will always be placing demands on us and the unexpected will happen.
So my wish for you, and for myself, is that we get better at saying no. It’s nice to volunteer at the school and to help our friends. But if doing too much of that is getting in the way of you putting time into your career change, then it must be a hell no.
Denny