Today is my 39th birthday and it’s also the day I launch my coaching business and blog. Thank you for being here with me.
If you’re reading this blog post then its likely that you are a friend, former colleague, client or contact. In other words, you will know me and probably know how much this means to me. You see I always had in mind a number of things that I wanted to achieve before turning 40 but I never thought that starting my own business would be one of them. I thought that I would still be climbing the corporate career ladder, putting in the hours and hoping that someone noticed. That was until I became a mum and my perspective on how to earn a living and live my life changed.
Playing it safe
I had always played it safe during my teenage years and twenties. Although I enjoyed a happy childhood with lots of love, there was never much money and so, for me, the key to a better life was working hard at school, getting a university education and an office job that paid well. I wanted the security of a regular pay check and being an entrepreneur, well that was for other people. I was going to buy a house, get married and have kids. I never really enjoyed my job in marketing but it enabled me to have a comfortable life outside of work and enjoy my weekends. I figured if I worked hard I would get promotions and do well.
Things began to change when I found myself single at the age of 29 after being with the same guy throughout my twenties. We sold our house and with the money left over I went on a round the world trip – the first time I decided to not play it safe. From there I moved to Australia on a working holiday visa, got a job and met my beautiful husband. The rest is history.
Throughout all that change though I clung onto my professional services marketing career. That pay check was the constant thing in my life and I thought it was giving me security but really it was just holding me back.
Children change everything
It wasn’t until I had my first child, at the age of 34, that I realised it was time to change the way I earned a living and lived my life. A secure pay check that barely covered the cost of living in Sydney, was no longer adequate compensation for going to a job that I didn’t like, which ate into my life and kept me away from my kids. So that was when I reassessed my life and work, got in touch with what was really important to me and took action to work towards it. I retrained as a life and career coach, and moved with my family to the south coast of NSW where the cost of living is cheaper, easier and simply beautiful.
It’s never too late
So I commenced my career change in my mid-late thirties and am now launching my business on my 39th birthday. When I talk to other mums who are unhappy at work, they will often talk about the number of years they’ve put into their career so far and how it’s too late to change now. I am living proof that you can make change happen. It isn’t easy but it’s not easy being unhappy either. Here are some things to ponder on if you think it’s too late:
• How long do you think you’ll live? Of course nobody knows what is around the corner but if you’re like me and about to hit 40 then you probably have another 25 years of work ahead of you. At least. That’s a lot of time. Think about what you’d love to do during that time. For me – now that I’ve found work I enjoy – I don’t think I’ll ever really retire. Maybe I’ll work less but I’m happy to always keep my toe in. Before that I would have retired at the age of 45 if I could have afforded to. I was that unhappy!
• At the same time life is too short. We all know that life is too short to be unhappy but a lot of us put off happiness as if it’s some destination that we can get to in the future. We say I’ll just keep going in this job until the mortgage is paid off, or until we pay the school fees or do the renovations. You need to work out what your values and priorities are. Is your desire to keep up with the Jones’s stopping you from having happiness right now. Ask yourself. Do your kids really need to go to that private school? Do you really need that big house in that suburb? We moved away from the rat race. My husband works from home most of the time and commutes to Sydney one day a week. It is a long drive and he is awake very early but it means we live in a beautiful place that is miles cheaper than the city. We have lived here eight months and have more of a sense of community than we’ve ever had in our lives. Our kids are happy and they will go to public school. I am starting my own business doing something I love. Create a vision of the life you want, not the life you think you’re supposed to have.
• You don’t have to throw the baby out with the bath water. You’ve worked hard and have some amazing experience behind you I bet. Nobody is ever going to take that away. Perhaps you could make some small changes, like an evening course doing something closer to work you love, while continuing with your day job? Perhaps you could reduce your hours while you work on a side hustle? Maybe you give yourself some time away from your day job (finances permitting) to give your dream job or business a go. If it doesn’t work in that time you could always go back, knowing that you tried. Ask yourself. Will I kick myself in 10 years time for not having done this?
• Sunken cost fallacy. A lot of people feel that because they’ve put 15 years into a career it’s a waste if they go and do something else. Read above. Nobody is going to take that experience away from you. Think about how you can use the experience you’ve gained in another field. I spent 15 years in marketing. I am using those skills every day in my new business.
• People start their career at every age. Sly Stallone wrote Rocky in his early 30’s whilst working at a deli counter. Laura Ingalls Wilder was 65 when her first book, Little House in the Big Woods was published and Susan Boyle’s singing career took off when she was 47 after appearing on Britain’s Got Talent. You can do this too.
So I hope I’ve filled you with some inspiration to make changes in your life, whatever your age.
My birthday gift to you
To celebrate the launch of my coaching business and my last year of my 30’s, I offer you the gift of change too. For the next 30 weeks I’m offering my subscribers 30% off the usual price of my coaching packages. You will receive my dedicated attention during six or twelve fortnightly coaching calls, and email support in between, that will take you closer to a career and life that feels more like you. Click here to find out more about my coaching packages or to schedule a no-obligation 30 minute consultation. If you know someone else that could benefit from career coaching then please forward them this email. I really am on a mission to make sure as many mums as possible are happy in their careers and lives. We are too important not to be.
Well I am off now to celebrate my birthday in the time honoured way. I will raise a glass to all the other mamas out there who are doing their best and hope you are enjoying your precious weekend with your family too.
Much love
Denny