I was having a chat with a friend this morning and she told me how she laughed when I mentioned the word ‘career’ in relation to her because she felt like she didn’t have one. In front of me was sat a very articulate, intelligent woman, who’d worked incredibly hard in different, but linked, fields of work. Yes, she was on a break from paid employment right now but had worked her absolute bum off since leaving school. As far as I was concerned this was a ‘career woman.’
But the conversation did get me thinking about ‘career’ and the images that word conjured up. Perhaps a Melanie Griffith, Working-Girl type in a suit, carrying a briefcase in one hand and a coffee in the other, confidently rushing to a corner office in a skyscraper. Or maybe a lawyer working their way from clerk to associate, to senior associate, to Partner up that well defined corporate ladder. If we associate the word career with being committed to one profession, building knowledge and skills in it and being driven by it, then it’s no wonder that many women, my hard-working friend included, feel career-less. Particularly, when they have taken time out of the workforce to focus on their family.
Perhaps I’m getting caught up in semantics and it doesn’t matter what we label the thing, work, career, job. It’s all the same. But it seems to me that the word career is held in greater esteem. It’s what we want for our kids. We encourage them to work hard and apply themselves at school so they can have a career, not just a job. And when we first left school it’s probably what we wanted for ourselves. So, I wonder how this effects our own self-esteem when we consider ourselves career-less? Do we consider ourselves less worthy? Maybe we accept lower pay or less favourable work conditions if we’re in a job, not a career. Maybe we put less time into our learning and developing our skills or growing our networks if we can’t see how that fits into a career. Sadly, we might consider the skills we have developed as parents and pre-children to be obsolete or worthless. And this can affect our confidence when we do want to return to the workforce.
But we can look at career in a different way. I came across the definition below, and in a world where we’re likely to change occupations several times, have portfolio careers and take time out of the workforce to care for others, I think its apt:
“A career is an individual’s metaphorical journey through learning, work and other aspects of life”
This definition sees career as a thing we DO. We career through life, making choices about life, work and learning as we go on our journey. It isn’t a thing we POSSESS, like when you talk about my career, or her career. With this in mind, we don’t have to get so hung up on sticking with the one path or tolerating a job we hate until we get the two years that look good on our CV. We give ourselves permission to change, place emphasis elsewhere when we need to and to view all the skills, experience and knowledge we gain as contributing to the whole journey.
Ultimately, we don’t belittle ourselves and we don’t feel the need to justify our choices to anyone. Least of all ourselves.
Tell me what you think. Do you have a career or just a job? What would make you feel happier in your working life? To dive deeper into this contact me for a FREE Working Mum SOS.