Hi, I’m Denny Nesbitt and I help mums change career

My story

My background is in marketing and business development. I started out in the “glamorous” world of beauty PR in London and drifted into corporate professional services marketing. To begin with I liked my job. I worked with clever, interested people, every day was different and the pay was good. But I began to struggle as I became more senior. I resented the long hours and the impact work had on my life. I became tired of hearing the same points in meetings that were never actioned. And mostly I hated the fact that I couldn’t be me at work. I always felt I needed to be more. More strategic, more extrovert, more assertive. I basically just didn’t feel good enough. 

Like a lot of people who are unhappy at work, I told myself to suck it up. Nobody likes their job, you work to live not live to work, I told myself. And I looked forward to the weekends. But, of course, monday morning always comes around.

By the time my maternity leave came around with my first child I was really looking forward to “a break.” And then the world of work became a distant memory when I was hit by the sledgehammer that is motherhood!

Becoming a mum for the first time made my job look like a walk in the park. I found everything a struggle – lack of sleep, failing to breastfeed, no me-time, fights with my husband, baby who catnapped. Part of my problem was that I was a perfectionist. And so, when things weren’t quite as perfect, I imagined them I blamed myself, just as I had at work.

Returning to work 

I know we’re not supposed to say this but by the time my maternity leave ended I was looking forward to going back to work. I was fortunate to be able to go back part-time and I told myself that I was really going to throw myself into my work during these three days, I’d be really efficient and strategic and I would enjoy having adult conversations again. The first few weeks were great … but then I felt the old unhappiness return. I was still a square peg in a round hole, and even with the new set of priorities that motherhood brings, it still bothered me. The old familiar unhappiness was accompanied by sadness because I missed my son and also complete exhaustion. There were the logistics to deal with – drop off, pick up, days off when my son was sick and somehow fulfilling the role that I had picked up during mat leave of household operations manager. You know, menu planning, shopping, laundry, organising birthdays and Christmas, organising immunisations, organising, organising, organising.

Also, my job may had changed to three days a week on paper but I felt like I was trying, and failing, to fit a 5 day job into 3 days. The pre-mum me had been able to work long hours to keep it all together but that was harder to do now. I resented late nights in the office that kept me away from my son and having to answer emails on my days off. The hours wouldn’t have bothered me so much if I was doing something that fulfilled me and where I felt I was making a difference. I realised that if my job was going to keep me away from my family, it needed to feel worthwhile. It was finally time to tackle the question that had been bugging me for years.

If not this, then what? 

That question eventually led me to work with a life coach – and later train as one myself.

Now I’m a qualified career coach – helping mums design work and lives that feel like a fit.

My clients often say:

• “My job doesn’t fit with family life”
• “I want to do something different but I don’t know what”
• “I’ve lost confidence and I don’t have time to figure it out.”

If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone – and you’re not selfish for wanting more. You’re wise.